


Celebrity Guests

by seekingjets (0fsilver)



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Holomatter Avatars, Silly, because I can fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 05:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14846979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0fsilver/pseuds/seekingjets
Summary: Megatron hates using avatars...and Starscream isn't helping.





	Celebrity Guests

\---

It was a mission of stealth and one Megatron had not wanted to agree to, but otherwise had little choice. When Soundwave presented the possibility of gaining the location of several earth facilities where the fleshlings were developing new forms of fuel (more efficient than the gritty slag they fought over with the Autobots) he knew there was no other option. They needed that information. Unfortunately the earth governments in question where too friendly with his enemies. Prime seemed to have given a wide clearance for countermeasures.

If even Soundwave could not break into a facility utilizing what Soundwave did best, another path needed to be taken. One Megatron despised.

Uploading human anatomy and present day cultural norms had been an agony close to death. Even worse a torture was having to agree with Starscream on the plan. The elite trine waiting on the furthest reach of the avatars range, Soundwave and Megatron in altform guarded by the three. (Because he wasn't going to allow Starscream to guard his prone form without another to keep the treacherous seeker in check.). Their escape or backup in case anything went wrong.

After assuming the identities of two humans working at the government building, infiltration gone smoothly, Megatron had only a moment to think perhaps nothing would ruin his day. While they could not upload the data files back to the Nemesis’ computers in range of present Autobot sensors - a removable device had been used. All they need do was reach Laserbeak waiting on a nearby building, flicker out, and he would be free of this hideous form... the Autobots none the wiser.

So of course, their escape was blocked. Scattered guards meandering outside the back alley they’d taken, expecting it to be clear but underestimating the laziness of humans. Their route should have been secure but slacking men in green uniforms chatted and exhaled smoke from thin cylinders as they complained. Unaware of the trouble they were causing him.

 _[We require an alternative route.]_ Soundwave informed on the open channel, uploading visuals the the waiting trine.

 _[Oh poor Megatron, caught by humans.]_ Starscream snickered. _[Need us to come get you? Are the scary fleshlings too much?]_

 _[Silence.]_ Warned, checking that Soundwave still held the portable device safely in hand. Neither had assumed the role of a soldier or a superior officer, wanting to draw as little attention as possible. _[We require a distraction.]_

 _[Want me to blow up a building?]_ Skywarp asked, too eagerly and Soundwave exchanged a look - their avatar’s painted mouth frowning. Hopefully Starscream could keep his trine under control.

 _[Negative. Autobots will be alerted to presence.]_ Soundwave began calculating, the pink human tongue sticking out between the assumed form’s teeth in concentration. Megatron wondered if they did so with their mask on too? _[Potential reroute? Attack power grid and cause city-wide blackout?]_

 _[No. We can’t have Autobots knowing we were here, they’ll just inform the earth cretins to relocate and this would be for nothing.]_ They pushed back into the alley’s shadows as a guard passed by, too busy running a squishy mouth about something called “health insurance” and a sentient “cheeto” to notice them.

 _[I have a plan.]_ Starscream’s tone was too delighted and Megatron found fear as a natural response. _[Just be ready to run alright?]_

 _[What is your plan?]_ Megatron tried to catch him but the line went silent, followed by Thundercracker’s whine of “Oh no way”. _[Report...Somemech better tell me what just happened or I’ll…!!]_

Nearby humans screamed, the guards reacting in time - jumping up and began moving towards the public street. Soundwave and he were left to step cautiously forward and watch their path clear as more hysterics took place just out of sight.

 _[Suggestion. Go.]_ Soundwave shrugged and Megatron allowed them to go ahead as they darted out of the shadow and towards the open road where humans were quickly gathering. A crowd formed almost immediately and it was easy to avoid eyesight with the guards, who seemed taken by whatever commotion Starscream had caused. Their next checkpoint was a humble building open to the public, serving some form of liquid fuel - and upon reaching the abandoned tables of its patrons they were able to get a clear look of what had drawn the guards away.

“Oh my god! It’s actually her!” A nearby human child squealed and ran towards the crowd, hand in hand with another girl of a similar make. Beside him Soundwave lurched almost violently, almost falling into one of the seats at the sight of their distraction. 

A human with dark complection and glossy black hair stood amongst the gathering mess. Female, by Megatron’s limited knowledge, dressed in a structured coat in a familiar red.

“Soundwave, can you enlighten me as to what exactly is happening?”

Soundwave did not turn to face Megatron, keeping still with a slack look of disbelief. At least Megatron assumed. Difficult to tell with the fleshy molds, their features always so folded and twisted.

Before them the humans were erratic. Squawking loudly as limbs failed about. The commotion drawing more attention the longer it continued. Megatron, while never one to allow his guard down, felt himself slouch in confusion.

The human female smiled and Megatron didn't need a scanner to know it was Starscream. Something about the sharpness of the human's form, her flickering eyes weighed with smeared makeup in a louder style than Soundwave’s selected form. The guards who had gone to investigate wore flabbergasted expressions while seemingly fighting over how to react.

Starscream began signing human oddities shoved at him while pitiful excuses for communication tech were flashing with image capturing.

 _[Can you two run please? I'm going to be sick if I have to stay in this form any longer.]_ Starscream snaps over the open channel while the image of the female makes faces at cameras and holds their grabbing hands. Doing well to fake interest, almost basking in it - had Megatron not know how foul Starscream viewed these creatures he might have been fooled.

“Megatron, rendezvous ahead.” Soundwave urged, finally snapping back together and motioning to a close street. Yet, he hesitates. While Starscream’s plan worked there was successful, a fatal flaw the seeker hadn't considered rose to Megatron's thought.

“Starscream. With a crowd that size how do you expect to drop the avatar form without anyone noticing?” Silence on the other end as The popular human made a face of horror. The gathering only grew larger. “Starscream tell me you have a plan of escape!"

_[Help.]_

Megatron snarled and began removing the coat of his own illusion. “Soundwave, get to laserbeak then drop guise. I'll get Starscream.”

“Sir?”

_[ONE OF THEM GRABBED MY AFT! WHY don't humans come equipped with guns?!]_

“Just. Go. I'll deal with this idiot before he ruins everything.”

\----

 

On the Autobot base, Jazz was inconsolable. Optimus tried to calm him but the other just threw himself on the ground, weeping.

“Jazz, I do not think the Decepticons are behind this…” He tries but judging by Prowl’s unamused expression, there was no convincing him.

“ONLY Megatron would do somethin' this evil!” Jazz cried and Teletraan One replayed the video once more only causing more distress to the flailing Autobot.

Footage from an allied city’s “breaking news”: cellular footage of a popular entertainer being attacked. A coat is thrown over her body as she signs autographs, roughly tossed over a man's shoulder who then fights his way through the crowd to escape.

The human celebrity can be heard screaming, “I didn't mean like this you worthless oil stain!” as she kicks tall blue boots from beneath the coat. The camera loses sight of them in the following commotion.

“Is this something we need to get involved in?” Prime asks while Prowl watches Jazz continue the embarrassing spectacle.

“Well." He considers. "While human celebrities are not our highest concern, if anything happens to Rihanna, Jazz will likely not survive." 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a short fic for once wow....
> 
> Also this is just because my girlfriend and I joke that Starscream is just Rihanna. Aesthetically. 
> 
> I will possibly write more adventures in holo-avatars for fun later, but this was just on my mind.


End file.
